Friday, May 7, 2010

Do you hear what I hear?

I basically enjoyed school from the beginning. I had fantastic teachers and performed very well starting in the early grades. There were really only 2 things I definitely despised about school- Mrs Stelter a first grade teacher (not mine thankfully, I had Mrs Loworly who was a very gentle old lady) and that blasted hearing test!
In grade school, if you fail the eye test they move you up front and notify your parents to take you to the eye doctor and all is well. However if you fail the ear test.... We all remember that don't we? They take you into the room and place these large, space-like, rubber ear things over your ears (and half your head) and ask you to raise your hand on whichever side you hear the obnoxious tone... simple. Well when I took it FAIL! I would say in my nice small voice "I have a perforated eardrum" and they would say YOU FAILED!! Quite loudly, perhaps in case I could not hear them. Now what? Do I get moved up, like the not-so-sighted kids? Will the teacher just yell a little louder ... nope , nothing! Until a couple days later..."HEY KID, YOU GOTTA TAKE THE HEARING TEST AGAIN!" Why would I do better? I had not done any ear exercises and the cycle continued, every couple of years, I hated that test. A quick story about Mrs. Stelter.... she once lifted me off the ground by my ear during a filmstrip, mean lady... I wonder if lifting a small child into the air by his ear can cause a perforated eardrum.... I smell a lawsuit!
My hearing today is on again off again...can't quite figure it out. My lovely family will often saw they just told me about a certain something and I honestly did not hear a thing. However, when I am in the shower I can hear amazingly. I can hear the phone ring and nobody else hears it! Perhaps it's the neighbors phone, WOW! I almost always hear the garbage truck picking up the garbage bins while the shower is pelting me in the face. Sometime it is not even garbage day so it must be from a mile or two away... amazing! Sometimes I can hear Mrs Stelter saying in that sweet small voice "ARE YOU TALKING DURING THIS HOW MILK IS MADE FILMSTRIP!" can't believe she's still out there teaching....

Eye will see you later...

Friday, March 26, 2010

Has anyone seen my spatula?

It started out great this week, I purchased a sticker for my sons car. The old license plate sticker was an '09 and when I finished the paper work and received the new one it was a 2011...what luck! No extra fee, no slap on the wrist, just a smile and a "there you go!" Lady luck was smiling on me and on the silver bullet. That's my sons car, we nickname the cars, that's for another blog. He and I settled in the car and headed to an NBA game. A night of fun! However....the next day we notice that someone took some tin snips and removed the right third of the license plate to get the 2011 sticker which had just brought me so much joy. Vandals! I am sure it was some poor person who not only could not afford a new sticker but was also carrying around his only possession ... tin snips. Last night I returned to the silver bullet to move it off the road and into the driveway and I found another surprise... egg all over the side of the car. Evidently some poor bird lost her eggs as she went flying by. A few times because I saw other droppings on the street by other vehicles...sad for the bird. Anyway the spatula...this morning as I was leaving for work the car windows were all frosted. So there it sat, frosted windows, egg on the window and 2/3 of a back plate. Our scraper disappeared about a month ago so my lovely wife had replaced with a spatula. Guess what? No spatula! It's gone. So I did what every brilliant person would do, I took out my drivers license and started scraping my windows. All of a sudden SNAP! I now have a jigsaw puzzle for a license and lady luck is no longer grinning. So I asked again, has anyone seen my spatula?

Eye will see you later.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Creatures of habit...

Habits-an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary

We all have them, some we are aware of and some we don't even know they exist. I would say we can split habits into 2 categories
the "bad" habits - smoking, biting your fingernails, picking things, swearing, those hats the nuns would wear ... stuff like that
and then the "other" habits which is what was on my mind yesterday.
This "habit" has to do with picking... picking my seat to be exact. Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday church...everybody happy, well I should say (good ole camp song). Yes church. We arrived at church and I greeted a few people, put my coat on the hanger, talked a little more and my family entered the sanctuary a few minutes before I did, as usual. I tend to dilly-dally slightly and therefore I end up coming in last, on time but last. With roughly 220 people in there preparing for worship I am never afraid that I will not find them because I know the secret, the map, the code of the Koskinens, the treasure hunt ends right-side about 1/4 of the way back from the front....BINGO! Those are our seats. Not to the extent that if there were others in our seats we would be offended, it's more of a general area deal. There they were and now I had joined them, my family- towards the front, right-side in their habitual spot...they are quirky.
Then I started thinking about my optometry conventions 500 docs, nice auditorium, many different doors to enter and no matter which door I go in I always end up 1/4 the way back, right-side! Even if I enter in the left doors, I go all the way around in the back, through crowds of drs who came in from the right but must sit to the left, and find my seat right-side and towards the front. What?! It's me, not my beautiful family! We went and saw the dead sea scrolls, there was a movie, I lead my wife to our seats, right-side! It's like a white-water deluge of thoughts coming to me, no matter where I go if I get to choose the seats I end up 1/4 the way back, right-side. Two weeks ago, Sunday morning, there were only 4 of us at church and I tried to shake things up - 3/4 of the way back, left-side! It was awful! Sound was bad, sight line was way off, people around me were nice (even though I did not recognize some of them). Pastor even looked different! So I am guilty, I have an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary...and that's fine. You know where to find me, no matter what event I'm at ... right-side, 1/4 the way from the front.
When church was over I went to leave, walked into the coat room and found my coat.... about 3/4 from the end, right-side....ridiculous!

Eye will see you later!